Sunday, October 13, 2013

The High Cost of Asking for Help

So now I have a few more things to say.

For one, I really appreciate all of my supportive friends who have donated & those who at least haven't judged me like I am a terrible person simply for selling my stuff online. God forbid I do that. God forbid I ask for help.

And to everyone who has 'advice' to give me, let me say a few things.
1.) I cannot get a part-time job without losing ALL of the pathetic funding I have.
2.) Even if I could get a part-time job for a few weeks it wouldn't cover my move
3.) If we sold everything we owned, we would have to replace it and that costs MORE than what we are selling it for; also, we have items that are irreplaceable.
4.) Everything that I own IS for sale already.
5.) No, I don't have any money because I only make $12,000 a year. Together Brad & I make $32,000 a year. That covers our bills BARELY.....
6.) It costs around $5000 to move 1000 miles away. And that is doing it yourself, which we are. If you haven't moved cross-country, shut your mouth. It isn't easy & it isn't cheap.
7.) Deposits exist: Electricity, pet, security, general deposits, administrative, etc. You have to have disposable CASH to pay most of those.
8.) And this only happened in August. I was under the impression I wasn't moving for another 2-3 years until my funding got cut. So before you judge me for not 'planning' consider the fact that I GOT SCREWED only a couple of months ago and have been doing EVERYTHING I CAN to 'plan' & 'pay' for these circumstances.
9.) I have worked my ass off & helped others my entire life. I shouldn't be judged when asking for the same in return.
10.) Consider all of these facts before you want to say shit to me. Please & Thanks!

And I also want to say that I have already lost (at least) 5 facebook friends since starting this campaign. People have bitched, complained, advised, & judged me. I have considered all the options. I am working odd jobs, buying nothing, selling everything, & doing everything I can. Got any helpful ideas? I would love to hear them, want to judge me for asking for help, PLEASE DELETE ME AND NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN.

I am not FORCING anyone to help me, I am only asking, and the fact that I feel the need to write a blog defending myself just goes to show that way too many people are complete dicks.

For  those of you who have helped me and/or not judged me? Thank you. You, kind sirs, are my REAL friends.

Last thing-Don't want to donate? THEN DON'T. It is that simple.

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Why is she doing a fundraiser to move?

 So, a lot of people have asked or maybe wondered, why is Jo doing this? Why does she have a fundraiser to help her move? We all need money, we all have problems, who knows, but HERE IS THE DEAL.

I have, oh, about 1000 reasons why I have to move back home. Among those reasons comes the fact that my salary that was a pathetic $16,000 a year, has now become a pathetic $12,000 a year, largely due to the cost of REQUIRED insurance thanks to the Affordable Healthcare Act. In addition to that, as part of my pathetic fellowship I am not allowed to simply 'get a part-time job' to make more money. So, what have I done? I have worked for my advisor, moving hay bales, I have done manual labor for my landlord. We have cut our grocery budget by 50%. Everything I own, AND I MEAN EVERYTHING is for sale and posted on Craigslist. We seldom go out to eat. I have tried everything. I know of no other LEGAL ways to make money.

I also have something else I wish to discuss. For one, people have trouble discussing money in our culture. We don't talk about it. Think of your very best friend in the world, chances are you don't know how much they make. It is taboo to ask or to discuss. For these reasons, I am considering this an extremely honest campaign. I am aware that my fundraiser could make people feel uncomfortable, and for that I apologize. No one has any obligation to GIVE me anything. In fact, if you donate at all, chances are you will receive something in return.

My entire life I have been nice to everyone. The reason I am nice to everyone is that is feels GOOD. When people as for my help, I always say yes. I help everyone move (and God knows many of you have helped me move), I tip excessively to everyone, I donate time, energy, & thought to everyone I care about and some of those I don't. I do these things because I WANT to feel like I am a good person. I don't care about getting rich or having nice things. I just want to be happy and you know what? I think it is only fair that I have the right to ask other people for help too. How many times have you needed help but failed to ask because of fear that people would think less of you? Why is this the human condition? Why must we fear asking for help from those who(m) we have helped so many times before and then why would anyone look down on us for doing that?

So, yes, it is weird to have a cyber-yard-sale fundraiser thing. But it is also weird to pretend like people shouldn't help each other. As humans we form communities because it is beneficial to our species. I am nice because it makes me feel good about who I am. I have been too nice for so long. Maybe now I am calling in a favor because I am truly in need. Could things be worse, absolutely! I'm not saying everything is crap, what I am saying is that I (we) really could use some help.

If you bothered reading this, you don't have to donate. You don't have to do anything. I just really wanted to say all of these things. If everyone of my facebook friends donated just $5 I would have over 3,700 bucks. Thus far exactly 33 of my friends and family have (out of 671 fb friends). Does that mean that everyone else is a jerk? Absolutely not. Maybe you don't have $5, or you think I should grow up, or that it isn't your problem, and that is fine too. I just wanted to get these thoughts off of my chest. When I am fiscally more stable, and even when I'm not, I do what I should to help others. For that reason, I have no problem asking for the same in return. And that's the simple truth.